However, in this information age, my geographic location has no impact on whether or not someone can get in touch with me. In fact, it is very easy to find me. Thanks to Google, this blog, and me dropping my name in some important places, I am officially the most popular Kent Sewell on the Internet. At least when it comes to Google searches. I will ignore the fact that most people don’t have my name and that I’m not competing with any celebrities. Sucks for all other Britney Spears’ of the world.

The best part about being the most popular me on the Internet? Meeting people, giving them my name and asking them to “Google me”. In one search of my name you see this:

Like I ask my dogs, "Who's that?!"

1) My LinkedIn

This is great because it helps prove that I’m not a moron and am quite employable! This is corporate me. *firm handshake*

2) My Google Profile

Now that Google+ has rolled out, people can see what kind of word vomit I put together when I get a free moment. When I get a mo’. Obviously, this is not-so-corporate-me. *high five*

3) My Portfolio

And at this point, if people think wow this guy is employable and relatively interesting, they can see if I’ve actually done something.

There’s no crown or championship belt for being the most popular you on the Internet. I know, it’s a crying shame. But nevertheless, it feels good. Why? I don’t know. But in a world where being relevant or nonexistent is a click away, it’s nice to be front and center right when I need to be.

So many treats to nom...

Right before Christmas, Aromalicious, a Portuguese bakery, opened up on Cherry Street right in downtown Rahway. I’m a big fan of supporting local businesses, especially now. Times are hard, Cherry Street is not the most beautiful area of the city so I salute these entrepreneurs for opening a new store! If more follow their footsteps, downtown Rahway can be the fantastic city center most residents long for. More after the jump.

On Rahway Rising, the ultimate online source for locals, the general consensus was that the downtown needed something like a bakery or cafe, with late hours, that could provide a place for residents to hang out and grab a cup of coffee. Aromalicious is this place. The inside is inviting, well lit, and is fitted with comfortable couches, tables, and chairs. The store screams, “Come in, relax and have a pastry!”

Aromalicious has a wide array of pastries to choose from, not all of them Portuguese. In fact, only a few were noticeably so (their catering menu, on the other hand, is very Portuguese). Everything from cannolis, eclairs, cheesecake, tarts, croissants, and various breads are available. Being a Portuguese bakery, I was disappointed to not see any malasadas. Perhaps they will add them later. Berliners, however, do make an appearance.

What’s for breakfast?

I asked one of the owners what they would recommend for breakfast and they pointed me in the direction of a Portuguese roll. I figured sure, this bread looks good. Oval shaped, nice crust outside, chewy on the inside. Then she said something that just made me ecstatic, “You can turn it into a sandwich. Like with ham and cheese?” Yes! Sandwich it up!

The sandwich was made and it was placed onto an electric panini press. While it cooked, she  showed me they have other meats to put on the bread, such as prosciutto. It was at this point I ordered a coffee and stood off to the side, sipping away.

The man in the white apron

Out of the back came an older gentleman wearing a chef’s cap and white apron. He walked over to me and placed a cream puff on the table. “Please try,” he said. Evidently, the puff wasn’t to his standards, so he happily gave away the “mistake”. It was delicious. He then walked out to the main floor and handed other “mistakes” out to a group of people that were sitting, drinking coffee, and enjoying some very buttery and flaky croissants. If you’ve ever been to Rahway, it can appear to be devoid of people. It’s moments like this, when the city feels like a community, when I feel like good things are happening, that I smile and say it’s good to be here.

A few minutes later, I was headed home, paninis in tow. I don’t have any pictures of the sandwich itself, but it was fantastic, delicious, and in total, I ordered two ham and cheese sandwiches, a small coffee, and an eclair for around $8. Totally worth it.

If you’re in the area and are looking for a place to have a small bite, something sweet, or just a place to chill, check out Aromalicious.

Aromalicious
85 East Cherry Street
Rahway, NJ

The train moves at an average speed of 19.38 miles per hour.

It is 2011. I work in the city with the  busiest public transportation center in the country. And the best we can do is 19.38 miles per hour.

Pathetic.

AKA STFU

I’ve wanted quiet cars since I started commuting to NYC over 4 years ago. I was so sick and tired of hearing people on their cell phones at 8am talking to their relatives on the other side of the world. I realize that for them, the hour spent sitting on a train may be a great time to catch up but not at the expense of other passengers’ peace and quiet. I could work on my keyboard skills on the train but I realize not everyone would enjoy that, so I don’t do so. (This is a lie, my keyboard playing is awesome).

I’ve sat in the quiet cars every day this week, to and from work for a total of 7 trips. So far, no one has been told to shut it. Yay! I look forward to seeing someone escorted out of a quiet car while on his or her cell phone:

“Yeah hold on. What?”

“Sir you are not allowed to use your cell phone in the quiet car.”

“What quiet car? This is bullshit I’m on an important phone call. Hold on one second. I want red peppers, not green or yellow. Red. Are you still here?”

“Can I see your monthly pass, sir?”

“Here. Now get lost.”

*sound of paper tearing*

Then mass applause ensues. End scene.

I hate NJTransit and I probably will for the rest of time since this country couldn’t care less about public transportation, but this is a nice start on making me hate them less.

True to my word in my previous post, I did go to breakfast at Rahway Grill. Full report after the jump!

Liked

• Transparently thin, crispy bacon
• Thin pancakes with a distinct crust that can only be achieved with a griddle
• Crazy breakfast sandwich (see below)
• Homey, neighborhood feel
• Prices

Disliked

• No Splenda

Okay I know, the disliked list is pretty weak but I don’t really have much to complain about. The portions were the right size and the service was quick, kind, and genuine. The Rahway Grill screams neighborhood joint. When routine patrons come in, the owner greets everyone by name. People joke and inquire about children and grandchildren. There’s a real sense of family.

Speaking of families, there were plenty of folks with young kids on the morning that I went. I like this. Why go to IHOP when you can get the same thing made by people within your own community? Besides, Rahway Grill is a better economic choice.

The Crazy Sandwich

The "JC Special"

The missus wanted a crazy-stacked breakfast sandwich and the Rahway Grill delivered. I am dubbing this the JC Special:

• 2 eggs over hard
• Bacon
• Taylor Ham
• American Cheese
• Toasted white bread (or wheat)

The Rahway Grill delivers a solid breakfast menu of all the staples: pancakes, French toast, bacon, sausage, eggs and omelettes. They even throw in little cute things (check out the breakfast menu and the cost of “Have a nice day” and on your way out, check out the “Hours of operation”).

Griddly pancakes

If you’re looking for a solid, home cooked breakfast of old standbys for a  reasonable cost, I encourage you to visit Rahway Grill. You won’t find Eggs Benedict or Florentine frittatas here, but what you will find is real people making real food.

When I do it, it does not look like that. It feels like I’m doing it correctly but according to my girlfriend, I look as if I’m seizing or am getting stung by bees around my face. More after the jump.

The Dougie Dance is part of the song Teach Me How to Dougie by Cali Swag District and if you haven’t heard of it yet, it’s another one of those dance songs. You know, songs made for the purpose of promoting simple to pick up choreography that people can dance to in conjunction with the song. See: Macarena.

Inevitably, people learn the dance and then when the song comes on at a club or a wedding, people go nuts and proceed to do some impromptu, flash mob dance number. I guess afterwards people just go back to awkwardly moving back and forth because there is no choreography.

Growing up, these group dances were extremely intimidating come school dance time. I remember thinking, “Why do all the white people know these dances and I don’t? Why don’t I have a subscription to Obscure Dance Monthly?” Seriously, I felt so left out because no one ever taught me these dances. But not anymore!

Now I am the one picking up on obscure dances (how obscure a dance can be after 17 million YouTube views is debatable). So bring it on! I will Dougie. Oh just you wait.

Rahway, New Jersey is a city of small-businesses that don’t know how to promote themselves. It’s painful, because Rahway is clearly not in good economic shape. Since moving here earlier this summer, I’ve watched one business shutter and have yet to see any new business move into one of the many vacant storefronts that make up the main street. It’s depressing, but in this economy, I know redevelopment takes time and it takes effort. So, I think I’ve figured out a way to contribute to the revitalization of Rahway.

There are several places to eat in Rahway, but almost almost all of them fail to have an online presence, even though it’s very easy to do. And while these places clearly have a customer base strong enough to sustain their existence (at least for now), no one is online writing about their experiences. Rahway is a blue-collar city that is increasingly being inhabited by young professionals that frankly don’t want to try something unless someone online has already given it a shot.

As a copywriter, I use words to promote for a living. Even for the smallest business, it doesn’t take much to get some presence online. And more often than not, it costs nothing. It actually pains me to see a black hole of information when I search for my new city online. So I’m going to try to fix that. With some simple tagging, pictures, and writing with SEO in mind, I’m going to bring some light to the unknown businesses of Rahway, and in particular, the places to eat. I bring to you a new, multi-part project of mine: Breakfast in Rahway.

That’s right. I’m going to eat breakfast at different establishments, take pictures, and write about it. It sounds stupidly simple (because it is) but it’s incredibly effective. When people search online there will actually be something to click on. Initially, I plan to visit the following places on weekend mornings:

1. Rahway Grill (47 East Cherry Street)
2. Mr. Apple Pie (1524 Irving St)
3. Big Al’s Luncheonette

Rahway Grill was recently written about on Serious Eats, but only their hot dogs (freakin’ delicious looking ones at that) were covered.

Stay tuned and stay hungry!

From flickr user Stephen Rees

After 3.5 years, I think I’ve learned a few things and I’m going to share with the world my ideas on how to improve NJTransit.

Post realistic timetables

According to NJTRansit timetables, the 8:17am train is supposed to get me to Penn Station by 9:05am. This happens maybe, 1 out of every 30 train rides. Seriously, once a month this happens. Most days we arrive at 9:15 and lately, we’ve been getting in at 9:25. In 3 years, I’ve learned that the timetables are what we can call “best case scenarios”. Meaning everyone gets off the train really fast, gets on the train really fast, and no trains cause traffic or break down somewhere along the line. Since best-case scenarios rarely happen, why not have timetables that reflect “most likely scenario”. Then I’d get pissed less and so would the rest of NJTransit’s ridership.

We’re clearly moving at 5mph. Make an announcement.

This pisses me off the most. Most likely, NJTransit policy dictates what scenarios require the train crew to make an announcement. Telling us that a train up ahead has been disabled and we will be delayed by 60 minutes is a no-brainer. However, when the train is moving at a speed somewhere between grandma with a walker and a tortoise on ephedrine, it should be mandatory for the crew to tell us something is up. Tell us that there’s train traffic. Tell us that we’re delayed because of a train that broke down in the tunnel 3 hours ago and the schedule hasn’t caught up yet. Tell us something, because when we can count the blades of grass, we know something is wrong and we deserve to know why.

Replace the old trains

NJTransit runs 3 types of trains at the moment on the Northeast Corridor:

1. The oldest. These trains were re-done in 1992 and are filled with ugly, brown, overstuffed benches for 2 and 3 people. The biggest problem with these trains is that they break down constantly. Not just major, catastrophic failures, but also tiny failures that delay the train, such as the doors jamming and being unable to close. It takes forever for the train crew to find what door has not closed properly. Evidently, the train diagnostics are so archaic that they can’t even see what door is broken so the crew has to run outside and find the door that has a red light or an obvious gap.
2. The mid-level trains feature long cars with no center doors and a ton of seats. These are fine. I don’t really have a problem with these. They rarely break.
3. The top of the line trains are bi-level, blue seated beauties and whenever I get to ride one of these, I am beyond excited. Problem is, NJTransit seems to enjoy deploying these trains on the least busy train lines or during slow hours. These break the least.

I don’t care how important you think you are or what time it is across the world. Shut the hell up–it’s 8am.

I’m sorry but I have no tolerance for ANYONE that uses their phone on the train. Do you really need to be on the phone with the office? You’re going to be there in 1 hour or less. ONE HOUR. What miraculous dewdrops of wisdom are you dispensing that just can’t wait one hour?

I’m sick of these people that think they are such hot stuff, thinking that they actually need to conduct “business” on the train. Please. You aren’t that special. If you were special enough to be indispensible for ONE SINGLE hour then you’re obviously not doing that well because you’re riding NJTransit and not a helicopter.

For non-business related calls, the train is not a living room. I’m all for keeping estranged families and friends in touch, but just because you are bored and it’s 8pm in Hong Kong does not mean you have the right to make everyone else listen to your conversation. The thing is, these people can get away with talking on the phone for an hour because chances are, other passengers don’t understand a word. The next time I’m forced to sit next to one of these people, I’m going to pretend I’m on a phone call as well. My dialog will be as follows:

“Hey Captain Flagstaff Jello Machine! Figured I’d holla at my favorite spaghetti monster. Oh you need me to speak up? No prob buddy!” Then I start yelling.

“Oh that sucks your septic tank is backing up? Did you remember to add the bacterial compounds to it earlier this year? Oh you forgot?! Oh you fool ha ha ha ha. Oh no really? It backed up into the kitchen? And your dog ate some of it? Is it ok? Oh it got sick on your bed? What color was it? NO WAY! Is that even a color? I’ll check with an art director when I get to work to see if that’s a real color.”

See, no matter how awful or unimportant my conversation is, chances are, the person next to me is having an equally pointless discussion. They just have no sense of courtesy and don’t want to be bored.

NJTransit recently rolled out a Quiet Car pilot program. Yay! But this only matters if the train conductors actually enforce it. We’ll see if anything happens.

You are NOT WELCOME so stop saying, “Thank You.”

Ok let’s get something straight: NJTransit has a monopoly on almost all commuting from New Jersey into New York. They control all of the trains, all of the light rail, and the vast majority of bus service. So every morning, after arriving 25 minutes late, NJTransit conductors are trained to say, “Thank you for riding with NJTransit.”

How can you thank me when I don’t have a choice? There is NO other way to get into New York unless I take a Coach bus or drive my own car. Every transit choice besides NJTransit is so impractical that it’s ridiculous to even consider we, the common people, have the freedom to get into New York on our own terms.

NJTransit would be better served to say, “Thank you for dealing with NJTransit.” That’s at least a bit closer to the truth.

Phew. I guess I feel better now. Thanks for reading. After all, you did have a choice.

A few months ago, I was feverishly apartment hunting when I noticed a pattern: every apartment complex I looked at billed itself as a “luxury” apartment, when clearly, it was not. I chastised myself at first, thinking that I was mincing words, but the more I searched, the more this word popped up and the more I found myself saying, “Really?” It was at that point I got mad.

Luxury is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as:

a material object, service, etc., conducive to sumptuous living, usually a delicacy, elegance, or refinement of living rather than a necessity.

Based on this definition, let’s assume that every apartment I wanted to live in came with, by necessity and law, heat, air conditioning, water, electricity and optionally, gas. Let’s also assume that every apartment came with four walls, a floor and a ceiling. And finally, let’s also assume that every apartment has flooring of some type, such as carpet or linoleum.

Now, with all of that in mind, we can safely say that every “luxury” apartment will have all of the aforementioned necessities plus many additions that would make living there “sumptuous” or “refined” or “elegant.” Without naming names, let’s see a photo of one of these refined abodes.

Luxury fail

This squat, dumpy, ancient brick complex is clearly not the poster child for luxury living. But the giant billowing sign outside begs to differ. In fact, this complex goes so far as to have the word luxury in its very name. Pray tell, what luxuries does this apartment have?

Well, it does have a pool. That is beyond necessary. But then again, the pool is not part of each apartment where people actually live. It is an amenity and amenities are nice but not necessary. I suppose with the right amenities, an apartment complex can be billed as luxurious, but the individual apartments themselves cannot share in that description.

After visiting this apartment in person, I noticed that the floors were thin and creaky. Each step was like those scenes in cartoons where no matter how hard the person on screen tries to sneak, the floor inevitably groans with every step. If I walked with more force than a tip toe, a dull, hollow thud would echo throughout the apartment. The windows were ancient, the floors bore the marks of decades of wear and tear, and the walls, lighting, and bathrooms were sad and neglected as well.

In other words, this place was not luxurious at all. You know what it was? Necessious. It had all of the necessities and nothing more.

On the other hand, I visited apartments that truly were luxurious. These apartments featured balconies, stereo speakers already in the walls, garbage disposals, ice-makers and independent hot water heaters. These features were truly above and beyond what is needed.

And yet, I asked myself, “Is THIS truly luxurious?”

The 10 foot walls were paper thin, the newly carpeted floor didn’t creak but transmitted noise like a 600 square foot subwoofer. The doors were cheap and noise easily went through. And whenever someone walked down the hall, their booming steps instantly turned them into contestants of the The Biggest Loser, regardless of their actual size.

Here I was, looking at an apartment that actually lived up to the word luxury and finding myself dismayed. Luxury implies that the space goes above and beyond what is necessary. The first apartment didn’t deserve the moniker and yet this second, far more expensive one, is still undeserving of the title. Why?

It all comes down to construction. Almost every apartment I visited was a cheaply constructed mess. The most basic, the most necessary thing an apartment can do is be built well. That means having a solid, hard foundation. That means tenants living above someone should have to try very hard to be heard by the unit underneath. That means that walls are built thick and strong like bull and should block noise as if there is no greater service in life. A well built apartment should hold units apart.

After that is settled, THEN developers can add the high ceilings, the fancy countertops and stainless steel microwaves. I understand that a cheap place (like in the above photo) may have poor floors and insulation and will be equipped with antiquated and sub-standard appliances. You get what you pay for and luxury it is not. If an apartment is cheap all around, from cost to construction, just put it out there. The buyer knows what they’re signing up for. Putting “luxury” in literature does not end an infestation of silverfish.

For apartments that do go beyond what is needed, I find them even less deserving of the word. It is not luxurious to hear your neighbors cough, fart, and go to the bathroom. It is not luxurious to hear the pounding footsteps from the unit above. It is not luxurious to have built-in speakers when using them will instantly force those around you to listen to your version of entertainment, regardless of whether or not they want to be privy to it.

Luxury is to have ALL of the basics covered. No matter how you festoon a pile of shit, it’s still a pile of shit, only shiny. So realtors of New Jersey, stop calling your cheap, low-end apartment luxurious. Say it like it is. You can’t dupe anyone with those words once they actually see the place. Maybe it’s luxurious compared to Helmand Province but that’s splitting hairs.

And to you fancy developers, plopping granite countertops every which way: take that money and build the building as solid as possible. Make those walls impenetrable forces. Make each floor a mini Atlas, holding up the world of each future tenant. Do not festoon the apartment unless it is deserved.

I’m tired of seeing luxury abused. It still serves its original meaning, but only in books and museums and Rhode Island mansion tours. Treat it with respect and use it sparingly, oh New Jersey realtors.

Otherwise, stfu.

For some reason, I only enjoy burgers when I’m craving them. It’s not that I don’t like them in other instances, it’s just that they don’t have that certain extra edge that makes biting into a burger special. The juices that flow mean nothing. The crush of the bun right before it gives and tears away… that normally magical moment fails to give me rapture. Luckily, my recent trip to Fl!p Burger, located inside Bloomingdales (1000 Third Avenue), coincided with a craving for ground red meat patties.

The first thing I noticed about Fl!p is that it’s small. It’s basically tucked into a corner, right next to a stairwell. The décor is nice, with an overwhelming theme of red and white that permeates the place from the bar to the seating area.

If  I build it, I will eat it?

Fl!p is like the Build-a-Bear of burgers. First, you pick your meat. You can choose from ground short rib, American wagyu, brisket, and should you want, you can venture into more exotic territory with a lamb and merguez mix or keep it simple with ground turkey.

Second, you choose a bun. I opted for the Hot Cherry Pepper and Asiago Cheese.

Finally, you pick any accoutrements like cheese, side sauces, and bacon.

Not knowing how big the portions were, my buddy and I ordered one side of Steak Fries with Garlic Aioli and a side of Sweet Potato Fries which come with a mango salsa. Two sides was a mistake. A big mistake.

Ugh. I hate small portions.

Lesson learned: One side is more than enough.

The steak fries weren’t as crisp as they should be. They pre-toss them in the aioli, which results in a soggy fry after a few minutes. The insides were of mashed potato consistency, so that’s a good thing.

The sweet potato fries were fantastic and they played well with the mango salsa. Since they were cut thinner, they had a crisper shell and stood up even when covered with topping.

And that, my friends, is a thing of beauty.

The burger was large, juicy, and cooked perfectly medium. While I couldn’t taste any hints of cherry pepper, the Asiago cheese made its presence known. As far as meat, I didn’t find the American wagyu to have a special texture or taste different than standard ground beef. Chalk that up to my naïve taste buds or to the infrequency that I eat burgers.

The taste was spot on, though. The meat was robust, full of flavor, and thoroughly enjoyable. Good, simple food, period.

Now for the bad news: Fl!p is expensive, especially for a burger place. Had I not had a coupon, this meal would’ve easily been over $40 before tax and tip. Considering a dive bar burger and fries will probably run around $10, it is up to your discretion whether or not this burger is worth 4 times as much.

Because of the price, I won’t go back to Fl!p. I’m simply too cheap of a person. However, if you have the dough and are looking for a customized, delicious burger, give Fl!p a shot.